Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST — created by Maria Cohut, Ph.D. On respectable 22, 2019

Losing your virginity is a distinctive experience. It have the right to be hard to know just what to expect. What will certainly it feel like, when need to you perform it, and how can you remain safe during your an initial time?


The words “virginity” and also “sex” mean various things to various people, regardless of whether they have actually sex with world of the same or different genders. Whatever an interpretation people use, countless feel anxious around having sex because that the an initial time.

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This worry is completely normal, however rumors and myths the circulate among friends and on the web can develop unnecessary fears. Knowledge what might happen during and also after sex can assist ease any kind of worries.


In this article, us look at what might happen — both physically and also emotionally — once a person loses your virginity. We likewise tackle some common myths around virginity and sex and also talk around how people can prepare for their very first time having sex.

What is virginity, and what is sex?


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Share on PinterestA human may lull fears about losing your virginity by learning an ext about what happens during and also after sex.
Defining virginity is not straightforward — sex and virginity have the right to mean numerous different things to various individuals.

When people say “virgin,” they frequently mean a human being who has not had actually penetrative, penis-in-vagina sex with an additional person. However, this is simply one the many feasible definitions.


Not all world have penis-in-vagina intercourse. For them and for others, virginity loss might refer come their very first time with dental sex, anal sex, or sex making use of fingers or toys. Some civilization feel the they have actually lost your virginity many times, by having different kinds that sex.


What wake up to the body during sex?

People usually an alert physical transforms during sexual activity. Several of these are the same for males and females, if other alters differ.

Sex feels good because that both mental and physical factors. The brain releases hormones the support sex-related pleasure, and there room thousands of nerve end in the vul that can feel an excellent when stimulated. Learn more about why sex is pleasurable here.

Before and during sex, the body releases hormones. These rise the lot of liquid in the vagina or wake up the prick to end up being erect. A human may additionally feel your heart rate quicken and their human body become much more sensitive throughout sex.

Does that hurt when you lose your virginity?

Sexual contact may feel strange at an initial because that is one unfamiliar sensation. That said, sex — including the very first time — should not it is in painful.

To stop discomfort, be certain to openly communicate with your partner before and also during sex, telling them what does and also does not work-related for you. If sex is painful, tell her partner and also stop or shot something different.


To maximize pleasure and minimize the possibility of discomfort, invest a lot of time on foreplay. This deserve to mean kissing, caressing, teasing, or exploring. Foreplay will improve arousal and prime you and your companion for an even much more enjoyable experience.

But even though foreplay and a state the arousal can help the vagina and penis self-lubricate, civilization may still require to add lubricant to protect against uncomfortable friction.

Adding lube is a must during anal sex, together the rectum go not create its own lubrication.


Lube boosts efficacy and makes them much more pleasurable. Lube is your friend. Lube will make your sex life better.

Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

A wide selection of lubricants administer different textures, sensations, and also flavors. A human being can uncover these in ~ drugstores or select between types online.

What is the hymen, and also how walk sex influence it?

One the the greatest myths around first-time vaginal sex is that a female’s hymen — a thin, elastic membrane that lines the opened of the vagina — will break, resulting in bleeding and pain. World sometimes speak to this “popping the cherry.”

The hymen comes in numerous shapes and types, and some civilization are born there is no a hymen.


In countless cases, a person’s hymen has actually torn before they have actually sex. Part strenuous activities, such together sports, can reason minor tears in the hymen.

Some people think that a damaged hymen is one irreversible sign of virginity loss. However, it is impossible to tell even if it is a human has had actually sex just by analyzing their hymen. This is because the hymen is naturally open in many cases and because that is shape and size vary from human to person.

The authors of a paper published in the newspaper Reproductive Health in 2019 say that healthcare professionals should never rely on physical examinations the the hymen to assess whether a human has end up being sexually active.

Can losing your virginity damage your penis?


Share top top PinterestTearing the frenulum is sometimes called ‘snapping the banjo string.’

Some people are worried that the frenulum — which is the short band of organization that connect the foreskin to the head of an uncircumcised penis — deserve to tear during first-time penetration. This is sometimes dubbed “snapping the banjo string.”

This part of the penis is fragile. A person may tear that after having had sex many times or never ever — the frenulum can tear throughout nonsexual activities, such together riding a bike.

A torn frenulum have the right to be painful and also cause a tiny amount that bleeding, yet this injury will certainly heal on its own, simply like any type of other minor cut or tear.

If this happens, just closely wash the area and also gently pat the dry with a clean towel. Avoid tasks that could cause the wound to open again till it has healed.

When need to you lose your virginity?

People have the right to feel a the majority of pressure to have actually sex if they think that there is a “right age,” or if castle feel like everyone else is law it. However, many world take your time in deciding when — or also if — they want to become sexually active.

The most recent data, collected in 2017, native the Centers for an illness Control and also Prevention (CDC) show that 47.8% that high college students in the united States had actually never had any type of kind of sexual contact.

So if you room worried around not having had actually sex — don’t be! over there is no actual right or not correct time to end up being sexually active. The ideal time is once it feels ideal for girlfriend — that is, once you feel an enthusiastic desire to check out that part of yourself.

If you never ever feel an urge to start having actually sex, that’s certain fine, too. And also if you feeling like beginning your sex life, yet then decision you desire to abstain from one, several, or all types of sexual task for a when — or forever — the is also normal.

Can you obtain an STI the very first time you have sex?

Yes. Every time a person has sexual call without using obstacle contraception — together as prophylactics — over there is a possibility they can develop a sexually transmitted infection (STI). This includes their first time.

However, if neither person has had sexual contact with anyone rather before, neither person will have actually an STI.

Some STIs produce no symptoms, for this reason a human may not recognize if they have one. To it is in sure, anyone that has had unprotected sexual contact before — including oral sex or anal sex — should have actually a sexual wellness screening.

When it come to avoiding STIs, the best options involve physics barriers, such as female or male condoms, or dental dams for oral sex.

People deserve to get prophylactics from their medical care provider or drugstores, or castle can pick between types online. Most brands are safe to use.

Learn around the safest condoms and tips because that their use here, and also learn exactly how to select the best condom dimension here.

According come the American Sexual wellness Association, 1 in 2 sexually active people will gain an STI by age 25, and also around fifty percent of STIs impact people aged 15–24.

The most typical STIs include:

Learn about the most usual STIs and also how to identify them here.

Can you acquire pregnant the an initial time you have actually sex?

Yes, if friend are having penis-in-vagina sex.

There room rumors that women cannot gain pregnant as soon as they shed their virginity, but this is no true. If you carry out not usage contraception, penis-in-vagina sex dead a danger of pregnancy, also the very first time.

Some options for preventing pregnancy encompass using male or woman condoms, taking contraceptive pills, receiving a consistent contraceptive shot, and also having a medical professional insert an intrauterine device, or IUD.

What is consent, and also why is that important?

Consent way that each person involved in sexual task has agreed come take component in it.

If one partner is unsure whether they would prefer to have actually sex, or if they change their mind throughout sex, they need to feel able come express this and to stop without any repercussions.

For an exciting first-time experience, partners have to feel safe, both emotionally and physically. If you feeling pressured right into doing much more than you want, it is not going to lead to safe, enjoyable sex.

If you space being coerced into having actually sex, tell this to someone you trust. Human being based in the U.S. Can contact the Rape, Abuse, and Incest nationwide Network hotlines, and also this kind of business is obtainable in plenty of other countries.

How will I feeling afterward?


People sometimes feel that shedding their virginity will be a life-changing experience. Each person’s experience is different — some may feel happy, emotional, relieved, anxious, or castle may have no specific emotional response.

There is no ideal or dorn reaction to having sex because that the very first time. Exactly how you feel can depend top top the expectations the you had beforehand or on her personality, for example.

Some civilization feel that having actually sex changes their relationship. The change can take on many forms and also this is normal, too.

Some human being feel overwhelmed throughout or ~ sex. Remember that one sex-related experience is simply that — a single experience as part of a better context, and it does not need to shape your identification or life course.

Future sex-related experiences will all it is in different, depending upon your cultivation experience of your body and sexual needs.

Takeaway

Losing her virginity go not need to be a stressful event.

Understanding what come expect and what can happen can aid a human prepare, both physically and also emotionally, for shedding their virginity in any means that is best for them.

People decide to come to be sexually active at various ages, and some civilization never feel the urge. If someone does decision to have actually sexual contact, no clearly shows physical changes can do a human being stand out as sexually active.

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Finally, when having sex — for the an initial time or any time — consent is crucial. Also, communicate about what feels pleasurable and also use adequate security to avoid unwanted pregnancy and also STIs.