Note: web links in the adhering to text suggest to recordings of these lines in windows WAV format.The setup: Mr. Hammer (Groucho) is complaining to Chico about the the means his partner (Harpo) is behaving. He then shifts gears and also comes up v an amazing proposal for Chico...Hammer: (to Chico) Come end here, I desire to view you...Now listen to me, I"m no gonna have actually that red-headed fellow running around in the lobby. If you wanna store him up in her room, you"ll have to keep that in a trap.Chico: Can"t record "im.Hammer: who is he?Chico: Atsa my partner, however he no speak.Hammer: Oh, that"s your silent partner...Well, anyhow friend wired me around some property. I"ve believed it over, and also I deserve to let you have actually three too many watering the front, or I have the right to let you have actually three too many fronting the water. Now, this lots price me nine-thousand dollars and also I"m gonna allow you have actually "em because that fifteen, because I choose you.Chico: ns no buya nothing.Hammer: What?Chico: ns no gotta no money.Hammer: friend gotta no money?Chico: ns no gotta one cent.Hammer: just how you gonna salary for her room?Chico: That"sa your lookout.Hammer: Oh...You"re just an idle roomer.Chico: Well, friend see, us come below to do money. I check out the document and it say, "Big boom in Florida," so us come; we"re a coupla big booms too.Hammer: fine I"ll show you how you can make some genuine money. I"m gonna hold an auction in a tiny while in Cocoanut Manor. Uh...you recognize what an auction is, eh?Chico: Sure! ns come native Italy top top the Atlantic Auction.Hammer: Well, ah...let"s walk ahead as if naught happened. I say I"m holding an auction at Cocoanut Manor, and when the group comes roughly I desire you come mingle with them...don"t pick their pockets, just mingle with them and...Chico: (interrupting) I"ll uncover time because that both.Hammer: (pause) Well, possibly we can reduced out the auction...Here"s what ns mean, if somebody says a hundreds dollars you speak two...if somebody says two, you to speak three.Chico: Bid up.Hammer: That"s right. Now, if nobody says anything climate you begin it off.Chico: Yeah, how"m ns gonna know when castle no speak nothing?Hammer: Well, they"ll probably notify you...You fool, if castle don"t say anything you"ll below "em, won"t you?Chico: Well, probably I no listen.Hammer: Well, don"t tell "em...Now then, if we"re effective in disposing of these too many I"ll view that you gain a nice commission.Chico: And, eh, exactly how "bouta part money?Hammer: Well, you can have her choice. Now, in arranging this lots, the course, we use blueprints. You know what a blueprint is, eh?Chico: It"s oysters.Hammer: exactly how is it you never got twin pneumonia?Chico: i go "round through myself.Hammer: (thinks) You understand what a many is?Chico: Yeah, itsa also much.Hammer: ns don"t mean a totality lot, simply a small lot with nothing ~ above it.Chico: any kind of time you gotta also much, girlfriend gotta totality lot. Look, I define it to you...sometimes friend no acquired enough, it"s too much, friend gotta entirety lot. Sometimes you obtained a small bit. Girlfriend no think it"s enough, somebody else probably thinks itsa also much, itsa totality lot too. Now, itsa entirety lot, itsa also much, itsa also much, itsa whole lot...same thing.Hammer: The next time I check out you, remind me not to talk to you, will ya?Chico: Alright, maybe...Hammer: (interrupts) Come over here, edge McNally, and I"ll define this thing to you. Currently look, this is a map and also diagram the the entirety Cocoanut section. This totality area is within a radius of approximately, eh, three-quarters of a mile. (pause) Radius...is there a remote opportunity that you recognize what radius means?Chico: Itsa WJZ.Hammer: Well, i walked right right into that one...it"s gonna be a cinch explaining the rest of this point to you, I can see that.Chico: I capture on quick.Hammer: That"s a rodeo, you"re thinking of. (pause) look at Einstein, here"s Cocoanut Manor. No issue what you say, this is Cocoanut Manor. Here"s Cocoanut Manor, here"s Cocoanut Heights -- that"s the swamp, and, eh, right over right here where the road forks, that"s Cocoanut Junction.Chico: wherein you got Cocoanut Custard?Hammer: Why, that"s on among the forks...you more than likely eat through your knife, so you won"t need to worry about that. Now, eh, right here is the main road leading out of Cocoanut Manor...that"s the roadway I wish you to be on. Now, over below on this site we"re gonna develop an eye and ear hospital. This is gonna be a site for ill eyes. Girlfriend understand?Chico: Thatsa fine.Hammer: Now, ideal over here...this is the residential section.Chico: Oh, civilization live there, eh?Hammer: No, that"s the stockyard. Now, all follow me here, this is the flow front. And all along the river...all along the river, those room all levies.Chico: That"s the Jewish neighborhood?Hammer: (pause) Well, we"ll Passover that...You"re a peach, boy. Now, here is a small peninsula, and, eh, right here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.Chico: Why a duck?Hammer: I"m alright, just how are you? i say, here is a tiny peninsula, and also here is a viaduct leading over to the mainland.Chico: Alright, why a duck?Hammer: (pause) I"m no playing "Ask Me Another," ns say that"s a viaduct.Chico: Alright! Why a duck? Why that...why a duck? Why a no chicken?Hammer: Well, ns don"t recognize why a no chicken; I"m a stranger here myself. All I understand is the it"s a viaduct. You shot to cross end there a chicken and also you"ll find out why a duck.Chico: when I walk someplace i just...Hammer: (interrupts) It"s...It"s deep water, that"s why a duck. It"s deep water.Chico: That"s why a duck...Hammer: Look...look, suppose you were the end horseback riding and also you concerned that stream and you want to ford over...You couldn"t do it, it"s too deep!Chico: Well, why execute you want through a Ford if girlfriend gotta horse?Hammer: Well, I"m i m really sorry the matter ever before came up. Every I recognize is the it"s a viaduct.Chico: now look, alright, I capture ona why a horse, why a chicken, why a this, why a that...I no catch ona why a duck.Hammer: ns was only fooling...I was just fooling. They"re gonna develop a tunnel over there in the morning. Currently is the clear come you?Chico: Yes, whatever excepta why a duck.Hammer: Well, that"s fine...then we have the right to go ahead v this thing. Currently look...I"m gonna take it you down and show girlfriend our cemetery. I"ve obtained a waiting list of fifty people down at the cemetery just dying to acquire in it, yet I favor you.Chico: Yeah, you"re my friend.Hammer: I prefer you, and also I"m gonna shove you in ahead of every one of "em.Chico: I know you like me.Hammer: I"m gonna see that you gain a secure position.Chico: Atsa good.Hammer: and if I deserve to arrange it, it"ll it is in horizontal...Now, remember, as soon as the auction starts, if somebody says a hundred dollars?Chico: i say 2 hundred.Hammer: That"s grand.
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Currently if somebody says two hundred?Chico: i say three hundred.Hammer: That"s great! Now, friend know exactly how to get down there?Chico: No, I"m a stranger...Hammer: (interrupting) now look...now look, friend go down there, under that narrow course there...until you involved the...that little jungle there, you watch it? whereby those thatched palms are...and there"s a small clearing there...a tiny clearing with a wire fence about it. You check out that cable fence there?Chico: Alright...why a fence?Hammer: oh no! We"re no gonna go all with that again!Movie summary -Next Page(This web page was originally created for open minded Bland"s "Why A Duck?" website)